Life is about trying and failing over and over again.
Whatever bad the situation is, you keep on trying, you lose your job keep trying, you lose your love , you keep trying, you get sick and you keep trying. The trying mantra has become the soundtrack of many of our lives. The decision to give up is as tough as the decision to keep on trying, this paradox paralyses a lot of lives and delays a lot of important decisions.
How can we resolve this trying or giving up paradox?
1- What' s the decision? Is it based on facts or information? If it is based on facts , we can classify facts into important and unimportant; we can disregard information as noise.
2- What values do you use? What sort of metric are you giving to the decision? Are you checking all the angles and do you have the right metric? Does it fit how you want to see your lifelong legacy? Is it useful,or is it fake?
3- Is it worth your time and effort? There are always different options, you may have to expand your angles to view the decision from different perspectives? Nothing is absolute and nothing is definitive, everything changes and life doesn't follow a linear path, what you love today might ruin you tomorrow and today's struggle might be tomorrow's salvation.
As per Trying Not to Try Book: In the Chinese conception, you’re encouraged to move with ease throughout life, avoiding any difficulties that might harm your spirit.
Well, Chinese philosophers have a word for this experience – wu-wei. Pronounced “oooo-way,” it roughly translates as “effortless acting.”
Another Chinese approach stop trying to be a specific way, to forget all you’d learned and connect with a raw version of yourself
The only way to wu-wei was to do absolutely nothing
thinking less with the conscious mind and more with the unconscious
You need to guide your whole life by the principle of generosity and dedicate yourself to it in everything you do.
Focus to the present and try to simply notice the moment and avoid analyzing your every thought and action.
Decisive book indicated We think narrowly; we’re biased by previous choices, personal values and short-term emotions; and we’re overconfident about our decisions.
Opportunity Cost is what you give up when you make your choice, it is not just yes or no, it could a set of many other options that you can expand your mind exploring if you have the time,just find the golden balance between the value of optionality and falling in the paradox of choice.
You are not special as you think you are and many people have previously solved similar problems, this also means that you are not cursed or something and that things are just the way they are because of a big picture reason, so why not reserach a role model which can guide you in your decision to try or not to try?
In sum, take it easy in yourself as most of your overthinking will not affect your life in 10 years but rather your actions will determine your future, just value the time and energy you are willing to put through the different angles of your decision making before the pursuit of "Never Give Up" or "Don't Try".
Reference:
Decisive by Chip and Dan Heath on Blinkist.
http://blnk.to/bee88007
Trying Not to Try by Edward Slingerland on Blinkist.
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